Is it just me, or do people always watch the most incredible films on board an aircraft? Maybe it’s the pressurised cabin or the really crusty bread they give that somehow affects my brain, but this always seems to happen to me…

Anyways, last February I was on a flight and I watched an incredibly moving film called “A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood”. To be honest, I just saw Tom Hanks on the cover and instantly clicked play. It ended up being a film I don't think I'll ever forget. And to my surprise, despite my questionable taste in film, rotten tomatoes seemed to concur with a 95% rating…

Tom Hanks plays the role of the famous US children’s TV show presenter: 'Mister Rogers'. The film is based on the true story revolving around the unlikely relationship between Mister Rogers and the investigative journalist: Lloyd Vogel (Tom Junod in real life). Vogel is renowned for his highly cynical style and negative portrayal of celebrities. The film mentions that every celebrity would turn down his interviews due to their fear for another one of his famous ‘exposés’. However, Mister Rogers’ approach was remarkably different. As soon as Mister Rogers finds out that the notorious Lloyd Vogel wants an interview with him, he not only accepts but rings him first himself. Lloyd was surprised that Mister Rogers initiated so quickly and responds with surprise. And then Mister Rogers says something that I won’t forget, here’s an excerpt from the phone call:

MISTER ROGERS

Do you know what the most important thing in the world is to me, right now?

LLOYD VOGEL

Uh, no.

MISTER ROGERS

Talking on the telephone to Lloyd Vogel.

Mister Rogers was never half-engaged, stuck in his thoughts or thinking about the weight of his own problems (of which he had many), even when speaking to someone who was hoping to publicly shame him ^. It was so clear that every single encounter was overwhelmingly important and meaningful to him, regardless of how ‘difficult’ the character was. I think this quality of his came from his conscious effort to really see people.

In the same phone call Mister Rogers describes himself: “I try to look through the camera, into the eyes of each child watching, and speak to them, as if individually, trying to be fully present to their feelings and needs. This is important when people of any age speak to one another.” So, when I mean he attempted to see every person he met, I don’t mean he merely maintained eye contact but instead he almost looked through each person’s eyes, consequently resulting in his vast appreciation for those facing him. Interestingly, it was actually noted in the film by someone who was close to Mister Rogers that he actively sought out and especially liked ‘exceptionally difficult characters’.

I think Jesus does the same. It's funny, because I read in an article written by people that knew Mister Rogers, that he was like a "second Christ" to them. Maybe this trait played a role. Throughout all the Gospel writings it is overwhelmingly clear that Christ always 'saw' people, especially the 'difficult' and the rejected. The Gospel writers seemed to not only notice this seemingly insignificant detail but stress this, for example:

• “But when He saw the multitudes, He was moved with compassion for them, because they were weary and scattered, like sheep having no shepherd.” (Matthew 9:36)

• “Now as He drew near, He saw the city and wept over it” (Luke 19:41)

• "Then Jesus, looking at him, loved him, and said to him” (Mark 10:21)

I never really noticed this or thought it was important, but this film made me realise it may just be the most imperative step in any kind of successful interaction. When I really see someone, I gain a greater understanding of who they are and start to fathom why they’re like what they’re like, ultimately changing my interaction from one filled with apathy to one filled with an unmanufactured sincerity. When "He saw", "He was moved with compassion". Characters like these do not differ from others chiefly in seeing or encountering different things, but in seeing the same things differently.

So maybe before the next time I hasten to internally sour or swiftly react again, I can take the opportunity to stop and see (sounds like that road safety slogan...) This is easy to forget and not easy to do, especially with those 'difficult characters’, but I think to make an attempt in one conversation out of the thousands I have, could temporarily take off my blindfold and reveal a functional and real set of eyes.

I also think it's incredibly comforting to be on the receiving end of such an encounter. For me, one specific conversation comes to mind; where the person I was talking to didn't say much at all and to be quite honest, I don't really remember much of what was said. He was someone I went to seek advice from regarding something that had burdened me for a while. I don't recall him telling me any life-changing 12 step plans, but I came out feeling profoundly relieved. The thing that remains so vivid in my memory and therefore, I think, what eased me so much, was the way in which he was looking at me with his eyes filled with tears. Such people, have been graced with a healing presence that is almost tangible. Even if it's in a film through a 10 inch screen at 33, 000 feet.

“Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other’s eyes for an instant?” - Henry Thoreau

*side note*: This might not be exactly relevant to the theme of the post, but this really grabbed my attention and it may be relevant. There were several scenes in the film where Mister Rogers would want to have a memory of the person or relationship he had with others, so he would take a photograph. But he never seemed to want to be in the photograph. He had a non-imposing appreciation of all people and all things.

(image taken from https://www.esquire.com/entertainment/movies/a29871607/tom-junod-mister-rogers-a-beautiful-day-in-the-neighborhood-true-story/)